Alright, so I have to come clean about something. This is very difficult for me to admit, especially after labeling myself an ‘indie snob’ and broadcasting it with a nerdy-ass blog. Well, here it is, if you’re ready. Are you ready? Okay … so … I’m not an album person.

SAY WHAAAAAAT?

Side note: remember that India Arie song, Because I am a Queen … (don’t ask me how I know this) … ? Anyway, back in the day, when I was a pirate, I utilized Kazaa to “illegally” download that song. This was when record labels were uploading “dirty mp3s” by injecting an obnoxious noise thirty seconds into a song.  The purpose of such vicious behavior was to cease the spread of pirated music. BUT … this particular India Arie song had a different (and somewhat hilarious) form of sabotage. The lyric “sometimes I shave my legs and sometimes I don’t” was immediately followed by the interjection: “SAY WHAAAAAT?” Perfect.

Anyway, back to the part where I disclose the fact that I’m a huge poser.

Albums: I might tell you it’s because I don’t have the cheese to buy full albums. I might tell you it’s because I don’t have enough room on my hard drive. Well, I’m a liar. The truth is … I’m picky.

I’m only picky about two things in life: men and music. I’m not picky about much else. I don’t really care about my shoes or purse or dinner selection or cat name or car color or blog name or job requirements or any of that. But when it comes to men and music, I scrutinize like an 85-year-old woman with a magnifying glass and a real nasty disposition.

THUS, in my opinion, I typically consider two or three songs per album as noteworthy. The rest of the junk is just filler. Bands feel the need to fill up that album with 12 – 16 songs so they don’t look lazy to the masses. If I ruled the world, musicians would make two or three fantastic songs per album, sans fluff.

I will admit that I know nothing about music. I am not musically-inclined. I mean, I played the clarinet in high school, but I was terrible.  And I hated it.  Bottom line is this: I know what I like, and I’m confident in saying I like a band, even if I don’t know all of their songs.

The order of songs, emotional arc, etc. are no doubt important pieces to the album- design puzzle. When you get down to it, it’s an art. It’s poetry. It’s meaningful … and I appreciate that, whole-heartedly. I really do.

But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.